Yay! You made it through the ordeal. That’s a big milestone. Do something nice for yourself whether that’s a massage, a hot fudge Sunday, or a long walk, or a single drink at a restaurant. It gets better.
I did, but after she left I broke down and screamed at the frustration I felt. I can't think of what to do at the moment as I feel so dizzy a my vestibular symptoms are triggered by stress. She wanted to show me what she had got now, it hurt bad.
Originally Posted by "97Hope
Originally Posted by smilie
But here's the thing: it was like she didn't want to walk away. She stood there not saying anything for ages, not sure if she was wanting to say something else, or if she was expecting me to say something to her. Eventually she just turned, went to leave. I waited for her and her sister to go, said "Take care" and closed the door. I really found it interesting that she loitered for a fair while though. not reading anything into this as she won't be coming back, either by her choice or mine.
This is detachment in action, even if you didn't feel it. My therapist says "Feelings follow actions", and I have found that to be true.
How did you get this? On who's part was the detachment, mine? If so how, what are you seeing that I can't? I need to learn
Originally Posted by "97Hope
You DID it. Good job and keep it up. It's a horrible thing watching them pack up and leave (seemingly) without a care in the world. But you held your head up high and made it. Now take care of YOU.
It is extremely awful, especially after 19 years. I don't know how I did it actually, just kept listening to my mate talk (thank god he's got the gift of the gab!) and got through one minute at a time. I've booked my remaining hypnotherapy sessions also, one for Monday. My mate said that now this event has passed, I can concentrate on the next steps. Why do I feel so bad?
I can't seem to decide a place in the country to be, so I thought I'd look for a house instead of a location near my friend. I have found a nice house to rent about £300gbp less than here in a nice looking area. Not sure about the town though, but I have to take a chance somewhere and shall enquire with the agent Monday and have an in-depth conversation before I go to look around the area. See if they've got anything else on their books so I can look around a few places. It's a 4 hour drive so that will be fun to look around - Feels strange looking to go it alone after so long.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
