I am trying to read up more on other posts, so I understand alot of this stuff more and can handle things the best I can. As I said last night my H and I talked for over 2 hours. He wanted to talk, and I did my best to validate and deflect. Although some things I did have to answer and discuss. My H told me about alot of the problems in our marriage that he has issues with, and yes some things specifically with me, which hurt of course, but I stayed calm and understanding through it. Honestly most of what he said were things I have a problem with as well and have been trying to work on myself and come back to me. H told me that about a week and a half ago (we were currently separated and him talking to other people) that he was making the decision to stop talking to people and he was going to write things down and talk to me in a couple days about what we can do to work on our marriage, he had wanted to fix it. That night though I had found out about him physically cheating on me for the first time in our marriage, obviously it was a few weeks back, and I didnt bring it up calmly, I pretty much woke him in the middle of the night screaming (I know i didn't handle that well) and after that night he had decided to be officially done.
He told me that he was unhappy and that he just wanted to start over completely with his life... He asked me alot of questions and I deflected when I could and I tried not to talk about me changing and realizing things as much as possible as I know that he wouldnt believe it. But he did say if I came up with a Separation plan he was happy with, he would hold off on the divorce and try it. I am completely aware that divorce is still very much a possibility and of course I am hurting with all of this. But I am trying to keep faith and stay strong.
I am going to focus on myself and my son and getting back to who I am and the things I love. I am trying to research Separations, especially within this site, and try to figure out the best way to do one for us and what the outlines for it need to be. My H told me he really didn't want me to move out, I told him I didn't want to either but I want to do whatever is going to be best for us moving forward to really work things out, and we left it at that. As I mentioned i'm researching but if anyone has any advice on how to handle this separation I welcome any advice. Thank you all
