My wife came to get her things and it was tough from the start, seeing as she rolled up in a new (2018) shiny Range Rover rubbing my nose in the fact that she has "Traded Up".
When I answered the door she was all happy and cheery (either putting it on or shoving her emotions away in a box) it was like she was going to visit one her old best friends. How can someone do that?
She arrived 15 mins late and apologised. In response I asked her how long she was likely to be and she said 45min to an hour. After a while she sent her sister downstairs to ask if she could take the suitcases. I had already pre-emted this and actually packed them with some of my old clothes and put them in the lounge set up like I was going somewhere. I also put a small rucksack on the top to make it look real. I had packed them full of old clothes to give them weight. I told her sister that they are all packed with my stuff and I'm all ready to go. I then shouted up the stairs that the only two I had available were her 2 smaller ones under the bed. I absolutely knew that she would try to take these. This would have meant that I wouldn't have had any suitcases if I choose to go away for a while. Bearing in mind that she is now driving around in this flashy car. She should have brought enough containers with her, in my view as that would have been reasonable - only brought 3 boxes. I would have never got those suitcases back and she was banking on my helpful 'nature' so that I would say "yes".
So basically in true Hypergamy fashion, she dropped me as I'm poor and off she's gone with somebody who hasn't got an issue with money (it appears). It's really annoyed me in a way, because she knew that I wanted us to set up a business and she held back from doing that. So rather than working to get to a place where she said she wanted us to be, she just had an affair with somebody who already had what she wanted and worked on them until she got to a stage where she could move in with them.
She always used to (say that she) dislike(d) people posing around in their flashy cars, and now she is one of them. Personally I think this is shallow, but I'm emotionally bias at the moment and maybe I also feel a bit pathetic as I didn't give her that lifestyle. I certainly wouldn't use that as the reason to live with somebody. I would quite happily live poorish for the rest of my life if I had an honest, happy and loving relationship.
It is obvious that she couldn't give a [censored] about my feelings having "showed" me the type of lifestyle that she is now living and one which I wanted us to create together. How foolish do I feel for waiting around for her to work on a business together - she never wanted to work for it, just wanted to exchange sex for it. Argh!
I staying in the lounge with my friend with the door open so I could see what was happening through the doorway occasionally.
The very interesting thing was, at the end she came out into the kitchen as I was in there washing the coffee pot up and she handed me my spare car key and the garage door fob. I said thank you. Then she handed me my appointment with the endocrine clinic and said that it was in her handbag. I said thank you again and asked her if she has taken everything that she wanted to take. She said that she couldn't fit anything else in the car and that she still had her dressing table, etc to get. In my mind she has had the opportunity to collect the things she felt were important and therefore I think it's reasonable for her to have the rest of her things when I have moved out from here.
But here's the thing: it was like she didn't want to walk away. She stood there not saying anything for ages, not sure if she was wanting to say something else, or if she was expecting me to say something to her. Eventually she just turned, went to leave. I waited for her and her sister to go, said "Take care" and closed the door. I really found it interesting that she loitered for a fair while though. not reading anything into this as she won't be coming back, either by her choice or mine.
It was horrible but I survived the ordeal. I'm rapidly going downhill at the moment now it's over, the panic is setting in fast, my dizziness has got much much worse and my neck is so painful (something I haven't had since my wife has left). So, I'm very emotionally beaten up right now and shaking like a good'n.
Anyway, I survived the ordeal without coming across pathetic, so that's good. But now I actually know that she has left me for somebody who is affluent. We have never had a lot of money as we were both in debt, so have never had the nice house, car & things. So instead of us working together to create them as I wanted to do by us starting a business together, she decided to just have an affair with somebody who has already got that stuff and has been obviously working her way into their life until she was in a position to move in. To me that is shallow.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
