Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again

[smilie]

I'm petty so I'd be getting garbage bags (bin bags) and filling them with her stuff.

Lol! Well, I like to be the opposite of what is expected of me. So usually I'm the fixer. I want to talk about issues, examine what's going on, ask questions and find solutions. When I don't get anywhere and she's not playing ball, I get frustrated and stressed. She will be expecting me to be tense, talkative, apologetic, examining, questioning, pathetic, crying and a sad representation of my former self.

Tomorrow, I will be the opposite! I have done this before in other scenarios where I have been so calm, so to-the-point, so matter of fact and so spot on, that it has made even the most confident employer shudder as they have struggled to answer my questions.

Today I have changed. I no longer feel pathetic and shakey, instead I feel strong. My mind has shifted and I feel that.

This morning, little pathetic me had a hypnotherapy session with this lovely girl who (fitted?) (fat?) me in last minute as my other hypnotherapist let me down due to him being ill. Things happen for a reason right? So this girl took me through a session which was a combination of Reiki and hypnotherapy - I cried like a baby because that pain inside of me was raging and consuming me. That pain has been inside of me building up since the first time my wife left me and lied to me 10 years ago and had never been released. I was right not to believe her, I was wrong for not saying anything.

So during the session I had an epiphany, if you could call it that. In the 1980's/1990's I used to be a martial arts instructor, entered European competitions and ran a couple of Karate clubs with my instructor. Around 1988-89 I was third best fighter (kumite) in Europe and second for kata (Shotokan Karate). THAT was who I was. THAT was what my life was. THAT is what gave my life purpose and THAT was who I had FORGOTTEN I was. That WAS me!

I oozed confidence, I was faster than almost anybody else, more meticulous in getting my kata moves perfect, more accurate and perfected in EVERY SINGLE ONE of my strikes. Of course I wasn't perfect and at times got really badly hurt, but most of the time I was untouchable and people in the ring used to look at me and become extremely nervous and start to shake, shudder and back away. Why? Was I a huge bloke? Nope I was fairly skinny, non descript and 5ft 10in. So why did the majority of people used to act that way? Well quite simply because they were stressed out about fighting as they didn't know how I fought and I was perfectly relaxed, each and every time just because I was confident in myself to perform. I knew my moves and I knew that I didn't need to think about techniques and punch/block patterns, etc. I just went with it and reacted accordingly. The icing on the cake of course, is that when they looked up after bowing before the fight to look me in the eye, I was smiling! (hence my username "Smilieman" << DB forum restricts chars).

That was it. I found the key to my problem. Over the years I have somehow been battered down. Job losses, illness, my wife leaving 10 years ago, etc. and all those things that battered me down, made me forget who I really was, the real me. The kind, confident, caring me that didn't put up with ANY cr@p!

Today, I discovered that person is still inside me and I remembered what it felt like to be him again. I realized in one brief moment in time, that I had forgotten what it felt like to be the true me. The me that I have been has been the compromised me that I have become through year upon year of swaying to people's needs and not wanting to upset them or hurt their feelings at times. I was wearing a mask of the not true me, the me that I have become over the 19 years that I have been with my wife. It escaped me, but today I found me again, buried deep within a raging cyclone of red, purple and black swirly smokey stuff.

Wow! She was good.

If she didn't show up by Sunday evening I'd let her know they're at the door and that's where they're staying rain or shine.

I have thought about this. In contract law both parties agree to terms. When agreement has been made and terms accepted a contract has been formed. So, we have formed a contract. She said that she wanted to collect her things on the 10th and I, after a week or so, emailed her back and agreed. She hasn't confirmed, but she doesn't need to as an agreement has been reached.

If she fails to turn up, or sends a message saying that she is not coming, then she is in Default. At this point my response to her will be something along the lines of "If you have not collected your things by 4pm today, then you are in agreement through acquiescence, that your all of your belongings can be discarded.". If she fails to respond and fails to show up by that time, then she has tacitly agreed that her belongings can be discarded.

I do think though even if you don't want to be petty you should probably start looking into creative solutions to get her things out of the house before she tries to take what she likes when you're not there.

I will be here. I will be able to see most of what she takes (unless she's sneaky), but anything that goes missing that I notice will not make her look very good in the courts eyes. All important paperwork and items are either locked up or in my possession. I have even packed them in suitcases (as I didn't want her to take the cases) and locked them all up and positioned them as if I am going away. Another friend may be coming round also, so it will look like we are planning to go away for the weekend!

I think that she may go for the marriage licence though. It is kept in a silver scroll tube thing all nicely rolled up. Somehow she forgot to take it and it is needed to apply for divorce. If she takes the scroll and gets it home, then she will be very surprised that the tube is empty, as I sent the marriage certificate off today to my lawyer for filing next week. I think my brain is coming back online a bit more.

You may also need to talk to the landlord or management regarding getting the locks changed once she's been given the things she's asked for.

If she is on the tenancy I cannot refuse her entry into the house. If I agree to take her off the tenancy, then she is no longer liable to pay rent. All is good though, as she can't get into the house while I'm not home. I have made it so that her front door key cannot be inserted into the lock (leave key in the other side and rotate 90 degrees). I go out the side door and she has never had a key for that as we have always kept that indoors. She could gain access through the electronic garage door that she still has a remote for, but she can't because I've disconnected the electric and if she got through that, I have also prevented the garage door to the house from being unlocked. All safe!

Get some rest. Maybe try a nap. Or just a calm quiet time trying to get your body to relax.

I think I'm going to need that. It gives me some relief that my lawyer can see straight through her BS and lies, basically validating my concerns and thoughts, so I'm not going mad after all!

I reckon there may be a big update sometime tomorrow evening!!!!!