Okay so I'm trying to keep up here. First off, I can't kick him out, it's his dads house, his dad is a truck driver and his home 2 days a month so we live there. I don't have anywhere else to go and my H won't kick me out like that, he also has already offered to give me his car and he keep making the payments on it as well. He has another car he pays on.
Also I am working on myself, so thank you for advice, I have been contacting him less, not being as easy to get ahold of, spending more time with friends, and trying to remember hobbies I enjoy and doing them. Contact can't fully be given up as for our son. We both take him and pick him up babysitter wise, etc. Also my husband says he is 100% of divorce as most in this situation have said, so although I am pulling away from him to focus on me to cause him to miss me, im not sure if disappearing completely helps as i feel like the divorce will just happen quicker and for sure.
Although I respect your oppinion about being friends thing not working, or isn't right. I respectfully disagree, Even Michele talks of a woman who did just that, was a safe place and a friend to her husband who she was going through the D process with and having an affair that they ever talked about the OW as friends would and they ended up back together as she has reminded him of the friendship they had etc. I also have had a family member who went through just about the same thing as the story i keep mentioning and her husband and her have been together happily ever since for 45 years, it was within the first 5 years of marriage it happened to her.
Everybody's situation is different, so not everything works for everyone, what i Know is while putting the techniques into place and monitoring results as suggest in DR. Ive learned that when I am his friend and not talking of the relationship etc. And i'm not getting ahold of him and being friendly, he reaches out to me and i respond as his friend, he contacts me more, he does kind gestures for me more, he acts more loving towards me, this is what has been working for my situation so far. He has respected me and just about everyway possible in every situation since this stuff came out. Except for when he was saying he wanted a divorce and still having sex with me, granted I will say he tried to stop it a few times, but frankly I am the more sexual partner in the relationship and I was quite aggressive, i'm saying this as you can have all the facts.
