I apologize for confusing things Wayfarer, I am honestly not use to forums, and threads so i wasn't sure if everyone looked everywhere and I was trying to make sure many people saw my threads as to get the most advice possible. I will remember the advice in the future so thank you. And we are separated, I have never meant to give the impression that my H wont be with someone else, Just because he is not in an affair with one person thats lasted months like many of the stories within the books etc doesnt mean its not like the situation. I am very much aware of what can happen. But just as the people who decided they wanted to save their marriage despite their partner having an affair, I am doing the same here. As for being a friend to him and being positive with him I am simply taking the advice that was given to me within these books that are the backbone to this site.

Also he is not out of the house, we live in the same house still, simply are sleeping in different rooms. And thats why im asking for advice on boundaries, i'm not sure if I should make clear that he is not to ever bring anyone home even if I'm not home (I dont believe he would ever do that in a million years to be honest) but i'm just not sure if its something i should bring up anyways. We both take turns with dropping our son off at babysitters etc. Not sure if one of us isn't going to come home at night if I should ask that we let the other know or if this is pushing the limits and pressuring him too much. Just trying to get advice on what others have done in this situation.

Also my H has never Said anything about working on the MR. He says he wants a divorce, period. Which many of the stories in the books that has been what was said which is why I am keeping in mind the rule to "not believe any of what you hear and only 50% of what you see" My husband does things in which makes it seem as if he doesnt truly want a D. The small victories as they are called.

Also If me and my H get a divorce, I will be his friend. Our friendship means too much to both of us to give it up for any reason, that is one thing we have always been clear on. I will not give up our friendship and more then i would give up on a friend who I have gotten into a fight with etc.