I'm sorry if my post upset you on your other thread, Artemis.
It's important that you are honest with yourself or your situation will never change.
You want the best shot at getting your H back (and faithful)? Bare with me, I'm going to be blunt.
You stop putting up with his bullsh!t and start respecting yourself. People can't love people they don't respect, and your H does not respect you. There are zero consequences to his behavior. Why would he stop talking to and having sex with other women? There's no reason to.
Personally, if I wanted someone who is like your H to back in my life and committed (and faithful) to me, this is what I would do.
1. Kick him out of the house. I would not tolerate serial cheating, flirting, "just talking to other people" again. ZERO tolerance. This will be stage one in gaining his respect.
2. I would go no contact with him. No phone calls, texts, emails, nothing. This shows him you respect and value yourself and that you will not tolerate sh!tty behavior from anyone. This also helps solidify his respect for you and gets him wondering about you.
3. Start building myself up. Therapy, gym, healthy diet, friends and family, God. New job opportunities, better relationship with your child. This will prove to yourself that you are worthy of respect and love. It might also start to make him think of you in a more attractive way.
4. If my ex started poking around at this point, I would make them work for me. They would need to be in therapy, consistently to work on their issues. They would need to prove to me they were sincere over time, with no blips or relapses with other people.
Being his "friend" will not work, Artemis. Being a friend enables his behavior and provides him with a very solid Plan B. It will also make him drag things out so he has time to sleep with as many women as possible. Be his friend and watch this drag out for months if not years.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I felt it was important to not blow smoke up your a$$.
