CWarrior, I am feeling better and more confident in all this today. I have faith and i have been praying alot as well for guidance.
Update: I know so many believe i should just move on from my H but theres so much more in our relationship that can be explained. So much good and other things that have happened that its hard to explain it all. My H told me he isnt sleeping with anyone else and that he is talking to a woman but only as a friend for the time being. We are separated and as the book says I am not going to focus on the OW at all if thats what it is. And yes i do believe my H completely on the subject, when he cheated last time i knew it in my guy, my gut has never once been wrong and my gut is telling me to trust him. As Michele wrote in Divorce Remedy, "Trust you instincts. Dont let anyone else tell you what to do. If your not ready to give up on your marriage, Keep Fighting." So thats what im going to do. I do know my husband and we are still best friends. I officially am not sleeping in bed with him anymore or having sex, since we have yet to discuss why the divorce is happening we have decided to do out to eat or possibly take a hike to discuss it some, hiking has always been our thing. I know discussing the relationship is suppose to not happen, but this is new and at the very least we need to discuss why he feels he wants this right now and to set clear boundaries for the time being since we will be living together still for now. I am going to refrain from any pleading or reasoning with him during the convo and try to keep it mainly about the boundaries being set, i will to the best of my ability make it clear i am open to working on our marriage and leave it at that.
For now I am trying to just be his friend, and think of him that way, last night he told me I am his very best friend and he doesn't want to lose that, and that he loves me very much. Yesterday I was in the town where he works as a cop as I had errands, etc. I had to do. And he came and found me 3 times just to talk, we didn't discuss the relationship at all, just discussed work and all kinds of different topics just like good friends would. I never sought him out, he always sought me out.
Since we are going to talk technically about the relationship some due to setting boundaries and discussing steps, though again I want to make it clear Im going to try to not talk to deeply about the relationship as is suggested in the book. Does anyone have any advice on things to discuss or how to discuss certain topics, anything at all?
