Wow it has been 4 years now!

[BL42]

AnotherStander,

Hey everyone, wow it's been over a year since I posted to this thread! Yesterday was my 60th birthday, also marking 10 years since BD.

Happy belated birthday! ...I won't say "happy" BD anniversary?

Just an update on life in general, my son just graduated high school, wow! He is our youngest so our kids are all officially adults now! My middle daughter graduated from Texas A&M (my alma mater) a few years ago and after working a while finally got into physician's assistant school last year. She has completed her first of two years. My older daughter who also graduated from A&M has gone back to school at SMU to prepare for a different career.

Great your kids are doing so well academically and professionally. Did they have any major impacts due to the divorce, or are they all fairly well adjusted in that respect?

My relationship with XW continues to be very positive, at this point there is no anger or resentment of any kind on either side I would say. We have our separate lives but we continue to communicate well and get along great. She still lives around 5 miles away and we get together with the kids for birthdays/ Christmas and just to have dinner now and then. She and the kids have something planned for me for next weekend for my birthday, it's a secret so all they've told me is to block out the weekend. I assume we're going on a trip somewhere but I really don't know :-)

Glad to hear your relationship with XW is going smoothly. You mentioned in a previous post there were some interesting "signs" awhile back, where she was updating you on her plans and scrapbooked pictures of the two of you. Anything more ever come of it, or were they just one-offs?

I've been dating the same lady on and off for 6 years now, it's been, well "tumultuous", lol! She live almost 2 hours away so we don't see each other very often, lately it's been about once every 6 weeks. It has definitely put a strain on the R. I sometimes slip off my DBing when she does things that trigger me, so I've been trying to come back here more and read just to remind myself of what I should be doing, and it definitely helps! It's ironic that you can spend years offering people advice and then find yourself needing to be refreshed on what that advice is, haha!

Hope you're happy with the relationship, but you posted about her saying some pretty hateful stuff to you about your father's passing, and also she pulled a knife and cut herself in front of you at one point? That seems concerning...

My father passed away last year. He was a physical and emotional abuser of my brother and me and our mom and we spent years not speaking after an altercation where he pulled a gun on my brother-in-law and threatened to kill him at a Christmas gathering at my mom's house. A couple of years before he died we did start talking again, and I spoke with him about a week before his death. His health had been poor, he had strokes and a heart attack previously and had open heart surgery and a pacemaker installed. We think he had a heart attack, he lived by himself and after not hearing from him for a while my sister called for a welfare check and they found him on the floor of the bathroom.

So sorry about your father passing. Losing a parent must be very difficult, even if you had a troubled relationship.

I still work as an architect and just a month ago had my 20 year anniversary with my firm, did not realize it until I just now looked it up on my phone! Still living in the same house, our neighborhood has over 300 homes now and I've lived there longer than anyone else (23 years), I'm like that old man in Up, haha! Still working out, still doing ceramic sculpting.

Any thoughts of requirement, now that you've hit your 60s?

Overall I'm happy, content, maybe a bit set in my ways but it works for me :-)

Great to hear! Thanks for giving everyone and update on your sitch, and especially thanks for weighing in on mine and others' sitches. I know your posts helped me, and sense you've helped a lot of people here over the years.