I've never been a once a cheater always a cheater gal. It's not my jam. I truly believe most people are redeemable. However in this case, he's a 24 year old, very recently ex military& presently a cop. He has a history of cheating. The likelihood of him never cheating on you again is slim. Very, very, very slim.
You don't need to answer this immediately, but when you can can you sit with these questions for a little while and really think about the answers:
~ Why do you want to keep this marriage together? I know you love him. Let's assume that. So what are the reasons besides you loving him that makes you feel it's important and necessary to save this marriage?
~ Why does this man deserve your love? What is that he is/has/does that can make you say I could forgive him if he asked me to and put in the work to keep this relationship going?
~ What is the common denominator in these cheaters aside from you? What personality traits? Hobbies? Mannerisms? Quirks? Family history?
What is happening right now is a lot. It's scary. It's heart breaking. It feels entirely out of your control. I'm sure you're not sleeping or eating. When you're ready we can talk about some self care so you can breathe again. But right now take what little control you have here and sit with these questions. Read Sandi's rules in Job's post. Keep reading DR. And try to slow yourself down. One thing we like to say around here is time is on your side. Time is on your side your H might be in a hurry to end this but you don't need to race to the finish line. You get to get to your finish line on your timeline.
And in the mean time don't beg, don't plead. Don't let H see you cry or rage. Don't agree to anything. Just slow down and take it one day at a time. And absolutely close that muffin shop girl. If he wants to fire you as his wife, he loses the privileges having a wife offers him, all of them including sex.
