My advise is more general based on what I have seen "work". LH19 is amazing at remembering all the details of each poster. I would weigh his advise strongly when you are making choices.
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I feel that if she reaches out (which is a long shot I think, especially a second time), that I would be willing to consider reconciliation.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
"Stockdale Paradox": you must maintain unwavering faith that you can and will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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I don't know what to say to her when I answer the door when she arrives - I don't know how to be. I know I need to be polite and firm, but I don't think holding a conversation will help either....but I really can't decide how to act towards her.
How you behave this one time will not matter. But she will notice. She will notice all the changes. You have 1000's of ways to behave. Will she be surprised be your behavior? How will she expect you to behave?
Can you be more enthusiastic then her about this? Projecting that you completely agree with her that the relationship needed to end? This takes a lot of forgiveness from you.
IF you had all of her personal belongings nicely boxed up and ready to be loaded when she arrived? If you enthusiasticly helped carry things out?
