He said no I don’t want to play now. I said what do you mean? You were begging me to play, now you don’t? He said he is already doing flag. I told my son, open your eyes your mom doesn’t want you to play because it would be more time with me. Why else would it be ok the following year when he is on the school team and I can’t coach. She did the same thing with baseball. He wanted to play and convinced him he didn’t want to. I am most mad because he said he doesn’t want to play now when he was begging me for months. Now he doesn’t want to play because his mom said no. This is just so wrong!!!
You talk an awful lot about parental alienation coming from your XW in your direction, but do you not see that in responding to your son in the way that you did that she could claim the same thing from your direction? It has been said many, many times on this board and in other arenas that I'm sure you heard and that is do NOT put kids in the middle of adult situations. You can't control what your XW does so if she tries to put the kids in the middle, that is on her. But, in this case, you did it. You said it was ok that she said no, that you would go ahead anyway and then went on to tell him to open his eyes and she's doing it to prevent him having more time with you. That puts him right smack in the middle of all the crap.
I have to agree with some of the others. You keep insisting that he will be fine if you coach, but there are NO guarantees when it comes to tackle football. Did your XW say no to keep him from having extra time with you? Possibly. Could she also just be worried about her son's safety? Absolutely.
I can't remember who keeps saying, CW maybe, but you are going to HAVE to get some stuff straight with your XW before you worry about doing things that require the 2 of you to communicate and compromise effectively. This particular instance seems very personal to you because you played football yourself and you want to share that experience with your son and want to coach him. That's great, but as I already said, there are NO guarantees, even with you coaching that he might not be seriously injured. You can't prevent accidents.
You are going to have to learn to pick your battles and figure out if this is the hill you want to die on, so to speak.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
