WAW Walks Away a Second Time

[smilie]

Mr B nailed it above. If you want the technical term it’s hypergamy. Google it.

I agree, he has. I am aware of hypergamy and it makes sense seeing as when she met me she was a trainee lawyer and I was an IT Manager of the firm. I was fit as I worked out regularly and quite confident. Her partner worked in a car parts place and sat playing computer games all the time.

I know this is a marriage saving board but in reality it’s about saving yourself. Mr B and myself as well as a few others have had people try to push us off the board because of our “negative” attitude. When in reality we are just able to objectively see things without any emotions. Your W is not a good person.

I don't think your attitudes have been negative at all. They certainly hold merit and are/have been worthy of serious consideration and much internal debate that has been extremely helpful. I can see that my wife is not a good person, despite what I want to think about her, the facts don't lie do they?

What your W did is doing to you is pretty $hitty. She cheated on you that may have contributed to your poor health then likely left you because you were in poor health.

Over the years she has also given me false hope which made me keep waiting around for her to be onboard with creating an alternative income for us. Just like she lied about her affair 10 years ago, she lied about wanting this also. So I could have been in a better place to implement my business idea years ago, but now I'm here. Luckily I still have that chance and a whole heap of new knowledge and experience to go along with it.

Like Mr B indicated, she's probably done me a favour and now I have the opportunity to grow and flourish. It's a shame that I have to feel like this and be put in a situation that is a struggle in itself to claw out of, but at least I will be free of the lies, deceit and pretence that the past 10 years seemed to have been built on.

The only winning path out of this it to take the focus off your W and put it 100% on yourself. If she ever comes to you for another chance you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Until then it’s a waste of mental space and energy.

I can see that perfectly clear and it's what I had to do and I agree that it is a waste of energy and mental space. I just wish I could switch it off - I'm sure that day will come, hopefully soon.