WAW Walks Away a Second Time

[MrBrside]

hear you. But why does she keep doing this? Childhood trauma? Her father abandoning her when she was young? Repressed Sexual Assault? Who knows, but if she is willing to finally work at that.....but I know it's unlikely as she has never seen any of her behaviour as her responsibility and has never asked why. Instead, I am usually the scapegoat. She's 45 next month, perhaps it is just who she is and who she wants to be.

You are still trying to find a logical answer to why / look for a reason.

It is unlikely you will ever know the truth. Your WW has weak boundaries, and found a better option ( in their opinion ) . Thats what they do.

There is a lot of stuff online about childhood trauma and cheating. So that may have played a factor, but not all people who had poor childhoods cheat, and i know people who had amazing childhoods that are cheaters - again, you are looking for an answer, that you wont find.

My WW had a bad childhood and poor boundaries..

But my best mate from school had the best childhood - his parents were like second parents to me and i spent 1/2 my younger life at his - and he turned into a serial cheater / took drugs etc..

as for the "If she is willing to work at that" comment

Your WWs current mindset is

"smilie wasnt working, Smilies is in poor healthy, Smilie didnt make me happy, Smilie wasnt fun, OM is a better catch, I am now free, I am now happy"...

What do you think WW would say if you blamed her actions on past trauma !!!!..

In her head, she probably has a lot of resentment built up and little respect for you already - do you really think you can reason with her and expect her to reflect on her actions.

This is you acting on emotion and not thinking logically - there is no way she would reflect on her actions at this given point.

She would need to hit a serious rock bottom for that to happen. Even if she did hit rock bottom, she needs to be attracted to you / respect you to want to reconcile. This is why working on you is so important - ie job, health, being healthy on the inside and in your mindset as well as looking good in the mirror.
In a world filled with online dating and ease to meet potential partners, you need to become the catch..

At the minute you are broken ( we have all been there ) - only you can decide how you want to move forward.

The first step is to sort yourself out - Health, Career, House, GAL etc - all without her.

Personally though, i think you have been given a gift of a new life. Your WW is a cheater - its who she is. If you suspect your illness is down to her actions and the anxiety its caused over the years, this is the perfect opertunity for you to become healthy.