WAW Walks Away a Second Time

[MrBrside]

Smile,

You are still doing too much reflecting / thinking / trying to find answers IMO.

You said yourself that you are wondering if your illness was brought on by your WW's previous actions.

Yet you are still contemplaiting taking her back if she wanted to R ?

You "wanting her to decide to return" is what you want. You cannot control what she does.

but this site is supposed to be focused around DB and saving marriages and resolving issues. Am I wrong? Am I grasping at straws?

some people would argue that this site is about saving a marriage.

I sit very firmly ( and happily ) and the other side of that fence and believe its about saving yourself - To rise from the ashes and build yourself back up - Walk away with your head held high and with one thing you didnt have before - Knowledge. I have learnt so much from this site, and its helped me in so many ways. I came out of the other side happier than ever, with a better understanding of relatioships and women. Only you can decide how you want to come out of this. People here will give you advice ( which will differ ) - you need to decide what you do with that advice.

She had an affair with me prior to leaving her boyfriend and left him in the same manner as she's left me now and 10 years previously (2011).

One of your intial posts about your WW having an affair with you speaks volumes - This is WHO she is !!!!

Look at this experience as a learning curve..