I totally empathize and understand that draining feeling you speak of. The emotional realization of the immutability of the past is a tough lesson. Intellectual that is so easy; feelings are slower to accept it turns out. Ah, the difference between control and influence. (Beliefs are even slower to alter. A great thing as it turns out, this slow altering of beliefs and values. They make excellent headings for life.)
We are but a leaf on a stream.
At first we are thrown about in the suddenly violent rapids we find ourselves in. Bobbing up and down, fighting for air, desperately looking to see where we are and what is going on. We struggle and panic. Grab at anything to latch on to.
Eventually the stream’s energy subsided a bit. The overwhelming waves are greatly reduced in both amplitude and frequency. We catch our breath and even discover where we are and piece together what happened.
Of course, we never realized we were a leaf and at that point still don’t. We swim against the current. Pushing back against the relentless passing of time and events. Further realizations come from our efforts.
Firstly, our struggling and swimming against the current is not futile. That effort is needed to break through our own self imposed limitations.
Secondly, our limitations were that of control and what we believed we controlled and could control. We slowly learn that we control little - only our thoughts, actions, and reactions.
Thirdly, further shattering of our limiting of self come from realizing our influence. We can exert great influence. This is not direct control, rather subtle moulding, shaping, and evolving of present events, values, situation into that which we aspire towards or hope for. This is a key realization for we do greatly influence and when unchecked and unrealized that influence harms and hinders.
Fourth, our beliefs are altered, organized, and strengthened. Crafted are values we aspire to. Discarded are beliefs that do not serve us. And that which we hold most dear is strengthened. Life’s headings these are. Noble and grand destinations to journey towards.
Fifth, the journey matters. How we walk our path matters more than the destination. In fact, it’s always been about the journey not the destination. Those are headings, not an end. Life’s a journey. Keep moving forward.
Sixth, we are leaf. It’s not that we give up our control and float wherever the current pushes us. No, we influence the stream itself. We influence that current to slowly alter our headings. Our water flows unstoppably. Fate, life, events and such do place barriers and rocks in the path of the water. Yet flow it will. We need not add to the debris.
Seventh, accepting the rocks of the past allows the leaf to float to smooth waters. A far gentler current awaits. Our values and beliefs, our spiritual path, influence our stream. Peace and contentment come from knowing and understanding and believing our control and our influences.
And finally, we are not but a leaf on a stream. For we are the stream itself. We have many different leaves floating. Different times and events. The leaf is our focus upon that time. Influence the leaf’s path and you will have a great life.
Each of us, our life, is clear clean water that flows. Live in the light and influence well.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
