kml beat me to the punch. Active listening and validation have nothing to do with agreement. You're just showing that you understand how she feels and what she's saying to you. It often de-escalates, or at least doesn't escalate, a situation. It gets you out of the most common way of interacting--half hearting what others say as you come up with a defense or comeback.
"Wow, so when I eat a grape, you believe I'm threatening to become a cannibal and eat you." "I see you're angry. I hear you'd rather I stayed somewhere else."
