Hopefully not. Some of us have worn the WAS hat. If I’d left my XW after 10yrs a year earlier, I might’ve still cared, but instead I used that last bit of care to give her another year to change. By the time I left I’d given her all I could and it was time to focus on me and my kids. I was totally done 2 weeks before BD.
Same when I left my exH I was done, done. Had I gone 4 or 5 years sooner maybe I would've cared or worried but by that point not only had I exhausted all avenues of saving that MR, I had exhausted any ability to consider his feelings in the matter any more.
So for both of these experiences I am assuming that there was some form of communication with the LBS prior to the relationship being severed, with regard to there being a problem that needed addressing? If this wasn't the case, then how had all avenues been exhausted? If this was the case and the LBS did not make any positive changes, then leaving and being 'done', would be understandable.
In my situation, nothing was communicated, ever. The impression was given that everything was fine. There was no clues, no moaning about anything, no comments, no negative statements - absolutely nothing. Therefore my wife having tried everything would be a false statement in this instance, as no issue was ever raised. OK, she may be 'done' but she didn't bother wanting to try anything or give any leeway or 'last chance' scenario or any explanation. She just went with absolutely no indication whatsoever.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
