Thank you, i really dont take these thoughts lightly, these arent emotional responses to something that H does, he is a good dad, be it that a very different one now. The moral dilemma is there, its always in the back of my mind. When i moved here (uk) i was 18, i really had no plans to stay, my whole family was elsewhere, it was a gap year situation and nothing more. I met H and well it went from there, im generally a very happy person, but as i get older and particularly as the kids were born i yearned for a connection with my heritage, so we planned to move about 2.5/3 year ago.
I really dont know if there is a better way to D or separate, the reality is that noone really wins….i dont want to talk in absolutes, obv there are critical and abusive situations where you need to get out. I tend to look at these situations not as bad or good, but certain lessons that i have to learn, things i have to work through. I had some tricky situation at work with staff over the years and two particular ones were really testing and affected me a lot, back then i thought, why me? I look back and i realise that after each of those situations there was a breakthrough ib my life, it was work life, so it ended in promotions both times. Its like i had to go through those testing times to be rewarded. So i look at my situation with H the same, i need to work through this, this is changing me, making me better and somehow im grateful. I know there will be a breakthrough at the end. But im an adult and in control of my own life, as much as one can control things, but my kids are in the middle, and always will be. I absolutely agree with you that we make decisions based on what makes us happy, so in the best interest of the kids tends to be whats best for mum or dad, depending on circumstances. I don't really know anyone who is totally selfless when it comes to these things.
