It's crazy to see a person transform from one emotional state to another. My W was definitely in a WW space. I got to read some of the text between her and her AP. I could see the change in her through those text. I also got to view her searches and saw her that matched her verbal output doing that time. She lied a whole hell of a lot. And I know, I will never be able to fully trust her again. But, I won't be able to trust any person other than myself 100% ever again. I navigate our Relationship and Marriage thru boundaries and actions. If my boundaries are being encroached upon, I calmed inform that I'm uncomfortable with whatever is happening at the moment. If my W actions aren't in line with her communication with me, I let her know.
She has worked hard to make me feel secure and safe. Will she ever betray me again. I DON"T KNOW, but that's not my concern anymore. I can't control any person's actions. I can only control mines, and understanding that about myself has given me the confidence to know, that I can trust myself to respect myself to do what's best for me and my boys no matter the situation. And I carry myself that way.
My wife knows, our Marriage isn't a guarantee and neither is my commitment. And I think her and I knowing that makes our M stronger. It makes us work harder to ensure that we are staying vigilant and keeping the Relationship between us strong.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.