A lot of great advice being given on the boards the last few days. Smilie, it will get better. Detaching is key. Don't sit around stewing on the situation. GAL is key to detachment. A simple start is visiting or calling your family and friends more often. Find somebody that provides a healthy support system. If you don't have friends and family nearby, join some meetup groups. Go on road trips. Read books that have nothing to do with saving your marriage. Stay active physically (if you can) and mentally.
Now is the time to detach. That should be the focus. You can work on your flaws in the next stage (by reading relationship books, etc.)
Before you met your W were you happy? If so, get back to being that person. I think all of us lose a part of themselves in an LTR... the things that made us attractive to our spouses. Rediscover those things.
