I know this goes against DB protocol, but I think I might send this as an email. I'm not sure I want her back now and I do believe this could get to the moral person buried inside the monster.
"If someone wanted to make it look like they were having an affair even if they weren't actually involved in one, they would behave EXACTLY as you have the past few months.
Roy is a skank. A clown. A cheap con. A Compulsive liar. The other women he fooled were young and naïve. They had no frame of reference for who he is, so they were just trusting victims. Innocents.
You know exactly who he is. So if you got involved with him, that would make you among the biggest imbeciles I've ever met.
So, there's no way. There's just no way. Any person who would leave their husband, go hang out with a man in Arizona, get too drunk, bang him like a skank, and then bring that man back to her & her husband's home & attempt to get their husband to go to sleep so they could spend more time with him -- they'd be among the biggest pieces of [censored] anyone has ever heard of.
And that's not you, so no way is this going on.
It'd be one thing if you were involved with someone truly handsome, tall, charismatic, a real life go-getter. That would likely sting. But Roy? He's a gutter skank who lies to women & drains their bank accounts. He's one of those weird people with no feelings or heart, or remorse. In no way would I be jealous of Roy. I'd be really embarrassed though and it would be indicative of your absolutely disastrous mental health state.
So there's no way you'd ever be involved with him. That's an utterly ridiculous notion.
I mean you wanted a quick, easy divorce so if this were happening, you would just tell me anyway, right? It'd make me an eager divorce partner. But wait-- maybe that truth is too damaging to reveal-- what it'd do to your life. The shake out. How it would turn you into a small, stupid nothing. How it would take a decade or so to recover from. It'd ruin you.
I mean you'd look like the biggest ***** clown imaginable. You'd lose half of your friends and you'd completely lose the respect of the other half. Hell, you might be forced to move somewhere like Colorado and start over.
You'd also be so compromised morally. You'd have to convince yourself of these lies about your husband. You'd likely have to rewrite the history of the entire relationship and make yourself believe it in order to keep your fragile psyche from breaking apart over this. It'd have to be systematic.
You would probably start off apologetic about the divorce, but then try to cast an equal part of blame off on him, and then over time you could slowly build a case -- lame. Flimsy. But a case nonetheless that he is a bad guy. Try some push-away tactics. Say utterly despicable things about him and see how he reacts.
Then cast his very typical, understandable husbandly behaviour during all of this as "bad". Frame it in the most convincing ways you can to your friends.
You can't live with this guilt but your husband keeps reminding you of what you have done with his pesky questions. And what you've done is horrific. Vile, Satanic. And most of all -- embarrassing & utterly life destroying. You know that so you'd have to go ALL IN.
But how could this be that bad when you are ACTUALLY a "good" person? No no it MUST be him. Double down. "He got into that car (as any husband would). He's telling our friends I am crazy and a drunk. I mean I am a drunk with a severe mood disorder, I admit as much, and I've texted Lee over and over about how I need help but [censored] it. Bury that. It feels like it makes sense so I'll make it all make sense to me."
You'd know your affair clown is not a viable future partner so maybe you would have some plan. A plan to get rid of the husband, eventually dump the clown, and move on like you never did anything wrong.
Or, who knows, maybe you've lost yourself so fully, that you plan on staying with him and being his next victim. I mean, he does HIKE after all-- and if you don't have a plan I can guarantee you he does. He will get your money. Maybe you'll get impregnated with this idiot scammer's child. Who knows? So you'd better have a plan because he definitely has a plan.
Anyone would be able to see this train wreck coming except for you.
So there's no way this is happening. My wife is a smart person. A moral person.
This scenario can't possibly be true, so it's so weird that it all looks to be exactly that. Isn't life funny?"
