She's not going to admit it to you - and WASs can be amazing liars. Many of us have been lied to our face. Sometimes quite convincingly.
That being said - let's presume, for a tiny moment, that she ISN'T having an affair with Roy. Why, then, is she leaving the marriage without giving counseling a try? Why is she abandoning her lucrative career to move to the town that Roy happens to be living in? Why wasn't she trying to work on the marriage before? Why is she suddenly justifying it being over after her spending a weekend away where Roy lives? And what is wrong with her, that she leans on a compulsive liar who abuses women financially for support in leaving her "supposedly" broken marriage that you knew nothing about until recently?
Sorry - I've tried to imagine any other explanation besides an affair and frankly, can't think of one. I suppose she could just be looking for an alcoholic drinking buddy but she could have done that much closer to home.
Do you have access to cell phone records? Usually they leave a trail of nonstop texts and/or calls to the affair partner.
But the bottom line is - she has left the marriage. She didn't give you an opportunity to try to repair whatever she thought was wrong. You weren't head over heels in love with her when you married her. She's an alcoholic in denial. Hard as this might be to hear, she may be doing you a favor by leaving you. Let go or be dragged. I know it's hard to see them driving towards a cliff but right now there is nothing you can do to save her. She is firing you from that job.
Well MLC would be the explanation. And the Roy thing a red herring. A friend who, himself morally compromised, will not judge and will fully support. An old college friend, who himself doesn't have many friends.
She also has WAW symptoms.
Said she has been unhappy and holding it in for a long time. Wanted me to be more physically active. Wanted me to do more hiking with her (she never made plans, never did I tell her I would not do anything she wanted".
Also I am on my phone too much-- which I can be,. I used to dabble in the comedy world and had a podcast so I do a lot of online comedy I get some attention for. She said I wasn't here for the real life, "the real deal" -- even though I am not sure staying high all day and drunk every night is the real deal.
Let's see, what else? My bathroom and messiness. Honestly it is just that her standards are out of this world. Everyone knew me as a "very clean and neat for a bachelor" when I was singe. But that messiness and disorganization bothered her.
And then she said she lost attraction. Also never was REALLY attracted (nonsense, physical evidence and experience to the contrary). So she will go from these perhaps legitimate, but not marriage destroying reasons to basically saying she is not longer attracted to me and attempting to savage me physically -- which, if you saw me in person I think would give you a good laugh. I am no Tom Selleck but I am not what anyone would call unattractive either.
When I bring up her drinking she says she was miserable so what do I expect? But she has always drank, not quite to that level but somewhere close. And to hear her describe it, she is some kind of battered woman! Yes it was coronavirus, and the relationship was in year 6-7 so it wasn't all rainbows and fireworks. This exaggerated misery to typical stuff seems like evidence of chronic depression to me.
