Originally Posted by wayfarer
Secondly, some body, and I won't name names but I bet he can guess who I'm talking about gets mad at me when I get upset with the alpha male stuff wink And like I've said some of these dudes do not, I repeat do not need, an internet infusion of ego. So if the LBH isn't an actually weepy mess which we've seen, lord knows, I check out the second the alpha stuff comes out. But per your request, I'll try to check in more often with LBHs.

I think a lot of the "alpha" stuffs gets blown out of proportion because most people misunderstand what it means. Here is the definition I have saved and see zero issues with striving towards this mindset.
“A true alpha’s state of mind is one of indifference, charm, humor, humility, courage and a belief that eventually, things will work out in their favor. Alphas set, keep and hold other people accountable to their boundaries. They stand up for what they believe in and don’t compromise their principles or values for anyone. They have an emotionally compelling vision of what kind of life and lifestyle they want to create and then resolve to pay the price, no matter how long it takes to make it a reality.”

Originally Posted by wayfarer
But watching couples who reach the other side and how they are with each other, and their children is a sight to behold. And I want very much to be in that group of people who put in the work every single day for love.
I wanted to get there too. My ex and I came from parents who had fuched up marriages and we took on the traditions of what I thought was normal. She's an avoidant so by the time I realized we were in deep trouble it was too late. I can honestly say we never put an ounce of effort in trying to improve our marriage and miraculously making it 17 years with 14 being pretty damn good. Unfortunately my kids carry the biggest burden of our knowledge gap. I try to focus on the good 14 and not so much on the bad 3 and move forward the best we can.