It's not so much that I'm swallowing the feelings just to keep the peace. Trust me that's a big 180 of mine. I'm keeping this part to myself because I don't know that it concerns him. It concerns me being "crazy" for lack of a better term. Because I can logically understand all of the things you listed. I have acknowledged all of those paths and more on my own. Even in a more existential/spiritual way I feel like everything happened as it should. We needed to fall apart to come back together. The house we have now is the house we were meant to have. The paths we are on now with our careers, our kids, everything is as is should be. It all fits. So even on that level I know we could be no where else but here. However some lizard version of my brain or maybe it's the 20 year old petty brat, I have no idea, can't get past seeing that time and that dream as stolen instead of seeing it as things are and they way the should be regardless if most of me sees it another way.
