Yeah I really did think the biological clock thing was a myth. I can say if you have a terrible partner like I did for the majority of my 20s it is a mind over matter thing...lol. But like you said biology. It wasn't safe for me to reproduce with exH again. He was an unsuitable father. So maybe you're right my mind and body may have had some congruency there.
And I can say once I was free of him and I hit 30, when I hadn't thought about another baby for years I got baby fever. I can genuinely say I don't have it any more. So my logical mind and body are in agreement. I held my friend's sweet tiny little bundle of joy and for years every baby I held I immediately thought "I WANT ONE!" When I held her and all I could think was "I'm so glad I don't have to wake up with her."
I think that's where my anger at myself in this lies. I don't even want this any more. I want to travel. I want to day drink. I want to do all the stuff 20 years do but with the money 40 year olds have...lol. But I still can't convince myself that H and OW didn't steal this thing I wanted so bad from me...it just sukks and I hope it's something I can move through with time.
