I lied I didn't need to read through all of them to figure it out.

That divorce was inevitable. I have never seen a case of too little too late that was so glaringly obvious in my life. On here or IRL.

He worked 70 hours a week when the kids were small, kept control over the money, and expected a 1950s housewife. He thinks that trying to get that business going was for the family. When in reality it was for him. I think of season 9 Jim and Pam in The Office. Jim course corrected once he understood the burden his wife was taking on with 2 very, very little children alone for weeks at a time while he was trying to get that business going. The course correction in this case however, came after the kids had entered school full time, the W had and EA, and started working outside the home.

He then was surprised that his W had an EA after emotionally abandoning her even in a super traumatic time in her life. That second birth story is horrifying. And once he unilaterally decided to save the MR was shocked his efforts didn't seem to be enough. I got so annoyed I did the math on the dinners. Just the dinner. Doing 60% for 2ish years does not come even close to the well over 1000+ dinners W had made already. While the 40% she was still doing just kept piling on that total. He continually pushed for a MR that was what his ideal should be only bending enough to accomodate her bare minimum requests. If my complaint is you don't help around the house, I carried the load of all the household chores for more than half our MR, and I tell you in MC that I'm already half way out that door, the bare minimum is you hiring a house keeper for the foreseeable future or me coming home to you scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees not sweeping the kitchen once in while. The fact that he was confused that his efforts were unnoticed/unacknowledged is a pretty glaring way of seeing into the demise of that MR.

Every single time he had like one fleeting moment of true empathy and clarity of the situation he immediately followed it up with some kind of emotional manipulation whether is was this feel-good neuro pathways stuff or general NGS payoff stuff.

There are some serious control issues hiding under the NG surface. Some narcissistic tendencies. The sexual coercion has my hackles up. Oh, and the sheer gall to constantly state how good she has it made me want to throw something. I've never seen an LBH say that that many times.

Now she checked out waaaayyyy before he started trying. She shouldn't have had an EA. She should've been more forthcoming with him. She should've demanded MC. But if you got somebody telling you they're the alpha therefore the direction of the marriage is theirs to determine how do you do that?

I think they both wanted to check the boxes off at the end. Him so he could prove to himself that he did everything and he was an amazing H and put up with a lot he didn't have to. That way he could literally tell other people that. And her because I think she genuinely wanted to check all the boxes so she could say she tried. I do think this WW actually tried at least for a little while. We don't see that a lot. But she defiantly stopped long before he got here on the boards. Her head was out of the marriage before the EA even started, much less ended, and eventually she took her heart out too.

After I grazed through it I remembered why I had only commented on it once or twice. I had a very hard time not wanting to interject my opinion which was not kind, but you guys offered a much kinder probably more productive version of what I would've said.