Thanks Bttrfly & Dawn. Yeah…I’m on the fence with where he is at. I think I would have a better read on it if we had been on our own rather than on a group outing. I’ve been reflecting about it a lot though. TBH, it wasn’t like I was on pins and needles the entire time we were together or pining away for him in my mind. I was just in the moment and enjoying my time with him and my friends and didn’t really think too much about the romance side of things.
I know he has been through a really hard time and is going to counselling. He is also in the middle of planning a memorial for his brother who committed suicide in November. So he may not be in a place to be more than friends with anyone. I am honestly okay with it…not just saying that. I’ve deliberately taken a step back in my mind because I am aware there is a potential for him to flake out on me. So I’m letting him take the lead, or not, and just living my life. I feel like if it is meant to be, it will happen and I am honestly not going to try to force anything. Been there, done that. If we are to be friends and nothing more, I know that there is someone else out there for me.
I’m still talking to other guys off and on. Had a text from the paramedic yesterday who I haven’t heard from since we went out. He said he assumed he wasn’t my type and that he really liked meeting me and he wished he had been able to kiss me…lol. I think he was my type but just didn’t feel a romantic attraction toward him. I’ve also been talking to another guy on Tinder who lives about an hour away from me. Don’t know much about him yet but I may meet him in the near future.
Anyway….thank you all for your care and concern. I promise I am being careful with my heart. Definitely have not given it away. Fifteen year-old me has calmed down. Fifty-three year-old me is running the show and fully prepared for this to not go anywhere. Started thinking about travelling again. Hoping cross-border travel eases up by the end of the year as I’d love to take my kids to Disneyland in February sometime.
