Something New

[SteveLW]

Thanks WF. I think most of what you said is pretty typical. The biological clock is real and even women that said they never wanted kids feel it and suddenly want a baby. As evidenced by your friend! So I think it is natural at this point in your life to be struggling with the idea of not being able to have kids. Though I believe we are all provided, eventually (with patience) what we crave. I have a feeling in a few years when your daughter has kids you will find your maternal instinct turn into being a grandma. And you are going to be a phenomenal grandma!!

And it is interesting this comment from your husband: "I don't know I don't plan everything years into the future like you." This is TYPICAL WS thinking!! Or lack of thinking. They are literally leaving moment to moment, feeling to feeling. I find it interesting because he had previous said this: "he kind of woke up one day and was like ok lets focus on saving to buy a house and then we can have a baby." HAHA! That is planning years in the future! Oh, the contradiction of the wayward mind!

My wife is a planner. To minute details. Long lists of things to plan even the smallest event or function. Yet in the middle of your waywardness she became haphazard and took on a "I'll wing it" mentality. She knew she wanted a job, wanted an apartment, and wanted a divorce. However, the steps necessary to get there was all unicorns and rainbows. "I'll find an apartment!" Uhh....how are you going to afford that? "I'll get a job!" Uhh, are you even looking? "Oh we can get this quicky online divorce for $200!" Uhhh, our state is much more complex when minor kids are involved.

Nothing was thought through and planned like she used to, and like she does again now. I guess that is why dealing with a WS is described as dealing with an alien. It is so surreal. It is like someone has taken over their body.

Anyway, I have digressed! I did want to point out: "I am not always as enlightened as I would like to be." All I can say to that is that despite so many today trying really heard, you really cannot fight biology. Those natural hormones that say "reproduce!" are real, and come on stronger at various moments throughout the biological processes of growing and aging. So the mind can say "I shouldn't feel this way" but the body can be screaming "But you DO feel this way!" So I wouldn't be too hard on yourself.