WAW Walks Away a Second Time

[smilie]

In the opening pages of "Breakup to Makeup: How to get your ex back", by Lanie Stevens, a relationship book for women. I read and interesting paragraph:

This is and interesting viewpoint and has been written by a woman in a book about relationships about breaking up and how you are told:

"A 'real man' will sit down with you face-to-face and explain why he does not want to continue the relationship. A man who is a selfish narcissist and has no respect for you will disappear only to re-appear when he has satisfied his needs and selfish desires elsewhere and wants the comfort and safety of your relationship and love. In other words he is not interested in a long-term relationship and only seeks out comfort and love when he desires it and he does not concern himself with your needs. A man who will send you a text message to breakup is a coward and thinks very little of the relationship. The way he breaks it off will speak volumes about him as a person and a potential lifetime."

I take it that this will also apply the other way around also? Seeing as my wife left and lied about shy she was leaving - needed space - and that she told me it was over by text, if it does also apply to women (as WAW applies also to men, WAH) then it would make her a cowardly narcissist and would the rules of WAW still apply, I wonder?

Also the authors view is that she would not accept being cheated on and being treated with blatent disrespect. Which I can agree with and if it was anybody else that had treated me in such a way, then they would be history also. So why is the pull to my wife so strong? It was last time also. Why am I contemplating getting her back if I can? After all she has admitted cheating on me and has also left me before and probably cheated on me then also (even though she promised she hadn't). Am I a fool? A stupid fool that will keep lining up to be treated in this way over and over again?

At the moment I feel that I am not. I feel that this is not an acceptable way fro somebody to treat me and that it should be over. I think about filing for divorce as I said that I would and that I need to somehow pick my life back up and piece it back together again.

Then the next hour comes, or the next day and I'm right back where I was shaking in panic and wanting her back. Why would I keep doing this to myself when I categorically know that in all likelihood, if she did come back, that she would do it again sometime in the not too distant future.

If she had had an affair 10 years back and wasn't prepared to own up to it, then she was prepared to build the last 10 years on a lie and now that's she's left again - with the savings - is prepared to see me penniless and homeless. Is this the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life, I ask myself? Really? Where is my self-respect?

So if my brain knows all this then I dumb-founded why I would even contemplate wanting her to return, and yet this is exactly what is happening.

Talk about not being able to work her out, I can't even work myself out!