First off I would like to say I am sorry you are going through this right now.
It’s actually not uncommon for people at middle age to ask themselves “is this all there is to life right now”. It’s also not that uncommon for people to question if they still are in love with their spouse. Right now you are both rewriting history. The marriage wasn’t as bad as she says it was and it wasn’t as good as you think it was. You both are wearing different colored glasses based on emotions.
Unfortunately I agree with KML it is highly likely your W is having an affair. If you really want to know you can find out.
Right now it doesn’t feel like it but separating immediately and seeing a lawyer is your best strategy right now. The best thing to do right now is give her a box of her stuff, wish her well and go out and live a kick ass life. I know that goes against everything you feel you should do. Time and space are the only things that fix these things long-term.
Sounds like a horrible idea doesn’t it? Every bone in your body is telling you that you need to do something to prove your love. Unfortunately that ship has sailed and the fastest way to get back together is to go in the opposite direction.
I promise you years from now you will either be glad or wished you had listened to me.
