Hopefully Drifting Ashore (Riding the Wave 4)

[may22]

Hi!!! It is so good to have an update from you. Congrats on the house-- that is huge!! And glad of course to hear how well everything is going, with your Ds and your H and changing your master's program. I'm so happy for you.

When I read this post about your H getting ultra frustrated with the projects and you letting him be, I felt a bit of deja vu... I didn't take the time to walk through all your threads, but I feel like this is something that has happened before, maybe a year ago? Maybe it was in/re his parenting techniques rather than DIY stuff, IDK. If I am remembering correctly, though, it brings extra resonance to this line:

Gotta maintain that 180.

Don't we all! I have been thinking about this a lot, lately. I think I need to spend some time back focused on myself and my 180s-- I guarantee I've been slipping in some areas. It is funny too how years of behavioral patterns between two people just take soooooo much time to wear away...one tiny slip up and reversion to the old behaviors and we're both suddenly in the same place we were years ago. (And/or, does it work that way with you too? Or just me???)

What were your other 180s, WF? Also, how are the girls doing? Do they ever bring up the whole sitch with you?

We had MC today and she said something interesting that made me think of you... she asked us (mostly me) to reframe the A so that the marriage was the victim, that it wasn't something that happened to ME but to my marriage... and then that the marriage isn't a victim, but a survivor. It seemed to me that you maybe always framed it that way? Thoughts?

xoxo May