WAW Walks Away a Second Time

[smilie]

Hi JoeJoe,

Thank you for your input, I get it, totally and have thought about this while we were together and even held conversation with her on these points.

One thing that I will say, is that I took the time each and every day to listen to her day - always have since we have been together. She comes home and I make a cup of tea and we sit and chat. She knows that she can talk to me about anything, but chooses not to. She did come home from work not so long ago and mention that she felt she had to keep up the atmosphere at work by being happy and smilie, as everyone was always negative and down. She told me that it made her feel fed up, but it was always her attempting to cheer the place up.

She didn't need to cheer me up or listen to how bad my day was, as I wasn't downbeat. Of course, there were times when I felt extra rough and would mention it, it's only natural. But I know she was feeling pressure at work where she felt that she needed to keep everybody cheery and upbeat.

She also mentioned that how her ego had had a boost, as she was attempting to take over the running of the office here as the Partner who was running it was useless. So she felt extra powerful and extra important being given the impression by her line manager (and the person who I think she maybe having the relationship with if it is somebody from work), that she will be running the office.

Everything else you say is correct and I recognise.

It's isn't unrealistic though as we have had the conversations around these points and having a go at generating income streams and she had given the impression that she is fully onboard with the ideas, so I do the work but she never mentions it again until I raise the subject. I have never understood why she would give the impression that she is onboard and then isn't - even when she wanted to create a separate sidelines business for her, I got all that going, she purchased the domains she wanted, I did the website and then when it was just about to be finished, she didn't want to do the content (which only she could do) and instead kept putting it off rather than just say "I've changed my mind". What a waste of time and money (I didn't say that of course, I just told her to say if she didn't want to do it and she said that she did want to - obviously by her actions, she didn't).

Also, she was ill for 7.5 years early on in our relationship. That was stressful. I was worried she was dead at night in bed and used to poke her until she moved. Specialist visits, drug side-effects, scans, biopsies, nearly did once of a biopsy, pregnancy termination. I didn't bail, or faulter, or look at another woman, or look for relief somewhere else, or want a different life - and that was before we were married and only after 1 year of being together.

I'm not making excuses, just saying that the boot has been firmly on the other foot.

As far as marriage vows are concerned, I agree with how things have changed. However, I am old-fashioned in the way that I take my promises seriously, no matter how life changes. If I have an issue I shall bring it up. If I want out, I shall raise the conversation. I wouldn't go all out to plan and exit and lie, deceive and cheat in such a way that leaves the other person an emotional wreck and financially destitute. But, that's just me - I have a conscience, and that is what I find hard to fathom. :-)

She has had the space to discuss her feelings and issues, I am an approachable guy, she just chose not to, so she trapped herself when she didn't have to.

As far as screens are concerned, once again it has little to do with my eyes. Yes they get tired, but only as a result of wearing glasses which set off dizziness. When dizziness increases, eyes become more tired. So it's nothing to do with the screen and everything to do with how the bend of the lenses in the glasses slightly distorts the image, that sets off my neurology. Complicated stuff, but it's visually stimulated.

Yeah, I shall keep doing the work, wherever that brings me :-)