LH: It does not give me perspective on her being a stay at home mom. If I didn't have to work too, it would be pretty easy. My challenge is balancing work and care and house. For better or worse it does not give me perspective. Especially because over the last 5 years I was "over-functioning". I continued to take on more and more of her responsibilities until she had very little left. I should have pushed back and held her to a standard. That would have potentially improved things. Towards the end I think her sense of self suffered because she had an affair, never really owned it, and then she had quit her job and she was not doing much of anything. I think she was depressed and I think it probably continues.
"Well if you are talking about how you feel or trying to get a reaction or make a point then you are typically being passive aggressive." Interesting thought. I would need to internalize that.
CW: You're right, I am catastrophizing the situation. This is still a disaster in my mind and my brain is looking at all the negatives and worst case scenarios. I don't have good examples of divorce going well for a family. In my family there hasn't been a divorce among my aunt or uncles or grandparents. Nor in hers, so I don't have much of a model - and definitely not a model of a good situation.
OnlyBent: I'm not saying I don't want her to be happy, I hope she figures it out.
