My comment was about marriages in general but in this situation when she made those vows she had no idea what it would be like living with a man who was ill and hadn't worked for seven years. Again, not his fault but you see my point.
Also agreed. But also not my point. You said barely older than 20. WAW here was not a 22 yo making promises she had no ability of knowing whether she could keep them or not. She was a little beyond the fairy tale age when she walked down the aisle. So once again the onus isn't on smilie. That was my point.
I would also like to add here, that after one year of us being together, she woke up yellow - jaundis. She was diagnosed with Autoimmune Hepatitis and she spnt 2 weeks in hospital and needed to go on steroids which made her gain weight and then an immunosuppressant. She was in tears worrying that I would dump her and not love her anymore because her body blew up and she gained weight in a few weeks (she had a tiny frame prior to that). For 7.5 years I stood by, not once thinking I didn't want to be with her - liver biopsies, bone scans and a termination due to the specialist telling her not to get pregnant as they didn't know if the baby would be affected or if my wife life would be at risk. She culdn't take the pill because of the liver issue and we used protection, but one still got through! Never any counselling and it has affected us to this day. She has never been able to get pregnant since - we have tried, but not that hard as she is more focused on career and never really said that she really wanted a child. Through all this, I loved her - I love her (still do really). This was years before we were married. I didn't need a vow to be faithful as it's in my values as a man. I would never and have never had eyes for anybody else in 19 years. I couldn't do that to anybody as it was done to me in my first ever relationship and I found out how it felt. And now I am finding out all over again.
Smilie unfortunately they are so many factors in these situations including hormones, brain chemicals, the happiness u-curve that it is hard to rationalize. The one thing I can tell you is that you will survive this and be happy again.
