She's Gone Again - 10 Years On

[smilie]

Wayfarer offered some insightful words.

You cited her as an “obstacle” to starting your own business and now that obstacle is removed. Smiles, this could be an empowering year.

I agree with this and have thought the same. I am trying to focus to get this started. It involves coding and it's really difficult to concentrate on it feeling this way. Hopefully the tablets will help when they kick in. Meanwhile, I shall put an hour in each day and make a start.

I agree with wayfarer to start with therapy. Find coaches in other areas, too!

Due to having no money at hand, I have registered with the state run systems. CBT they have suggested (not convinced) and there is an 8 week waiting list. It's been 3 weeks, so 5 weeks left. No appointment yet. I have been thinking about a relationship counselling charity here, that help people come to terms with separation. They should have flexible pricing models so it will be affordable. Other than that, what type of counselling/coaching would anybody recommend I look for?

As to fitness, my trainers find ways to make me sweat whether I have a cold, a stress fracture, or an impingement. To be clear, I’m not rich—I’m paying $70/month for 5x/week group training. Many gyms and PTs offer a free first training session where you can outline your limits and learn possible workarounds. Physical therapists specialize in working around disabilities and can be seen for 2-4 sessions with or without insurance. With constant and/or unexpected vertigo maybe, e.g., they’d recommend weight machines over free weights so a sudden loss of coordination wouldn’t hurt you. Maybe instead of a M, W, F schedule they’d have you train on whatever good days you have even if it’s only 90 out of 365 days. That’s probably still more training than the average middle-aged adult.

I used to do bodybuilding when I was younger and am familiar with the gym exercises I can do. I am able to use free weights. I can push myself without issue and I have a small gym here at home. The only difference is I don't get to "mingle". I used to be a member of the only gym here in town, and it's a awful one. Nothing is maintained and it it really pokey and dirty. It's only a small town where I live and facilities are almost non-existent, which is a shame.

There aren't any support groups, except a couple online which I gave up on as it was all about people wanting to take pills and I couldn't stare at a computer screen all the time because of my eyes.

That sounds like an excuse—eye fatigue as a reason not to engage on a forum about your illness, given you are able to engage on this forum to find ways to bust your divorce. It wouldn’t take too many words. “Hi forum! Does my illness mean it’s impossible for me to ever exercise? Has anyone here exercised after their diagnosis?” That may sound insensitive. I have an XGF with a neurological disease. I get both living an illness and being a caregiver are hard. Just getting through a day may take more effort than my normal day plus 2.5hr fitness routine plus chores. You may have to choose strategically one of your 180s instead of three. Breakups suck. I’m glad you keep posting! I do believe in you, though!

It's not an excuse, honestly, even though it may sound like one. Putting on a pair of reading glasses in order to use the computer, make me spin almost instantly. Eye fatigue does follow, but is not the main issue, dizziness is. This condition is made worse/triggered by visual stimulation and head movement (nothing to do with balance either), as head movement changes the way your eyes see things and therefore triggers a neurological response.

Hard exercise takes the 'edge' off my symptoms I found, as does polishing the car, until I go to bed and wake up the next day. I have worked out for years with this illness in my home gym. Yes it take a huge amount of effort and I am completely knackered afterwards and really tired throughout, but I do it. So I've picked that up again daily.

Vestibular migraine forums that are available have never been productive to me. There is never any suggestions and people just want to take medication that never works. They moan and complain and spend all day in bed. I'm solutions focused and have been looking for and trying different things up until my wife left, including iodine, Vitamin C, Tryptohan, water fasting, organic diet, plant-based diets, foods that I may be allergic to (after a hair test), physio specifically for deep neck flexors, physio for migraine (Watson Approach), private blood tests, Limbic system retraining, etc. Whilst people on the groups couldn't be bothered to try anything apart from wait for a magic pill. I am still looking for answers and have for 7 entire years, with the help of my wife. I even have the idea of starting a solutions-focused group for VM. I spoke about this at length with my wife a couple of months back and she agreed it was a good idea because there isn't anything like it - something else to do as my 180!

I've tried all I can think of over the past 7 years and I will not stop until I find a solution. Look online at the medical information for Vestibular Migraine and they say that there is no cure, just options to manage it. These options only work for the minority of people and not me. My thought is that this condition is misdiagnosed and I have been told as much by the medical professional in the ENT clinic who tested me. He told me that if they can't find anything wrong with my balance system, they just put you in the "Vestibular Migraine" bin. I think it's more. I think it's brain trauma caused by an event - in my case a violent vertigo attack that lasted weeks. Furthermore it was discovered that I have an pituitary tumour and it's not known if that has a bearing, or a cause, to VM. The medical industry do not care and will not even attempt to link the two. I have an appointment each year with the endocrine clinic and when I tell them I still have all my symptoms, nothing has got better and nothing has got worse and is there anything that can be done, the response I get it "See you next year". This pituitary tumour effects my sex drive and that is recognised, as does the feelings of being knackered and dizzy almost all of the time.

My point is this: Being on this forum is important to me, really important and believe you me, because I have worn my glasses for an hour or so in order to read and reply, my head feels like jelly and awful. Yes, my eyes are also blurry and will remain so for many many weeks. It is an effort and it triggers dizziness. So please be assured that it is certainly not an excuse. It's something that not a lot of people understand unless you have got it, or have lived with somebody who has.