180's last time: become more independent, spend time at the gym, do my own stuff rather than always do stuff with her - can't remember the rest. i haven't kept up with them as 3.5 year after we got back together I had a severe vertigo attack that changed my life and the dizziness has never gone, which I why I cannot work. So once again I have fallen back to depend on her and allow her to be in control over everything, simple because I was too ill for about 5 years when it was really bad.
Hi Smile,
Communication takes work from both parties. Listening is challenging. When I asked about the issues she raised 10yrs ago in therapy, you cited your 180s but not her issues. Should we assume they are the same? If her original issues went unheard or unresolved, I could imagine her giving up on communication.
As for your 180s--1) being more independent, 2) being more fit, 3) finding ways to entertain yourself without her--you say you stopped these. It's easy to imagine intermittent vertigo making these more challenging. It's hard to imagine there weren't ways to do them if they were a priority, especially item #2 and #3.
I guess now her only obligation to you is to write a check. Are you reaching out to find support groups and/or services for your condition? Family? Neighbors? Churches? In my area, many will help, even if the help's not comprehensive. This must be an especially challenging time for you and I hope you're getting aid.
