Hi Maggie, I break into emotional outbursts on a regular basis too.
What are yours about? What are you saying to him? What are you saying to yourself that is causing you to get upset? How does he handle it? What does he tell you will help him feel more lovingly toward you?
I wonder the same things about my expectations-are they too high? Do I deserve this? Why isn't he doing XYZ? The truth of the matter is that the less expectations you have, the more relaxed h will feel around you and prob. do the things that you want him to do.
And, being demanding or disappointed about what he does or doesn't do will cause him to feel like you don't accept him for who he is and that is a biggie for men. And, they don't want to be controlled. OK, I DO know some men that don't mind being controlled...Do you wish you had one of them? NO! Then you would have no respect for him.
Has he told you what might help him to feel more amorous? My h has told me time and again that the crying turns him off. My C said that everytime I cry, it's like pouring water on the logs in a fire, dampening it. Gotta let the logs dry out.
I think about this stuff too much too. What can you do for you? Do you have a girlfriend you can bike ride with? You must remove the victim-if he doesn't want to go with you, you go anyway!
Also, I think it would help if you quit bringing up your insecurities with him. As you said, this will tire him. I know b/c I am there. H has become so drained that he really doesn't have much left to give. Now I have to live w/o anything (WOA, ILY's, etc.) b/c he doesn't feel ready to open up again. Please try to avoid this, b/c it is painful and then you REALLY do have something to worry about.
Do you think your thoughts are irrational? I'd like to talk to you more. I'm in Piecing-Seeking the Truth
