Wolfman moving forward

[Wolfman]

Ugh. It's so difficult in this position. Unless your ex's boyfriend has drunk driving convictions against him, I'm not sure how you go about protecting your kids. Does your son have a cell phone? If so, you could have a discussion with him about how he can always call you instead of getting in the car with BF if he seems drunk.Or maybe, just ask son whether he ever feels uncomfortable with BF driving?
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I have friends who ho are cops and ram his info. No convictions. Just one parking ticket. But I will definitely talk to my son about it he ever feels uncomfortable about getting in the car to call me.

Hi Wolf,

She told me one day her kids were over my ex’s home. He was drinking and got drunk and they were going to go out. His kids did not want to get in the car with him drunk so they called their mom. And she told him he better not dare drive anywhere. He said he wasn’t drunk and that his gf ( my ex) would verify that he was fine. She said he is ok to drive. So my ex is allowing this a$$h@le to drive my kids drunk. I am not having that!! I don’t know what to do. Any advice???

Your kids being driven around by someone whose BAC is above the legal limit would be serious.

You don’t KNOW that’s happening. It sounds like that PROBABLY happened on the day in question. A woman you just met who’s upset at him alleges that one of her kids claimed this happened. She apparently wasn’t worried enough to take action to stop it such as calling a sheriff because then this would be a simple matter.

I would ask her to call the sheriff if this happens again and alert you if he’s arrested.
I would offer to share if you obtain proof of abuse that a court or CPS accepts.
I would informally arm your son with info about drunk driving.
If she alleges this happens frequently, e.g., Saturday evenings 8-10pm, and you find her very credible, you could hire a PI for those evenings which will either prove or disprove her claim.
I would avoid further venting sessions because they don’t help you detach.

How did holding your ground on the pickup before Father’s Day go? Any documented wrongdoings?

I agree why she didn’t call the cops or sheriff. But thinking about the PI thing. That’s a good idea. Just concerned for my children. Especially my son, he doesn’t need to see that and think when he gets older, that’s ok. Was t meant to be venting just giving some background and advice about the drinking and driving.
Father’s Day was fine. When I disagreed I just got. “I will pick him up promptly at 3:15 from the precinct.” So much for her wanting to avoid him going twice.