The first time I wanted nothing more than to reconcile. I'm 10 years older and asking myself if I want to do this again further down the line. She lied at therapy, so if we had therapy again why would that be any different?
Originally Posted by smile
Forgiveness is a decision. But can I forgive somebody telling lies rather than the truth. Will I ever get the truth from her, even in therapy? If she can't ever do that - tell the truth in order to rebuild - then there can be nothing to rebuild as it would be build back on a lie, or a heap of lies.
In contrast to your first BD, May already trusts her H less than a year back, despite pain and anger. After deciding to piece, they're facing past wrongs in therapy including the affair
The Oxford Dictionary says to forgive is to "stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake." I hope you are capable of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not just for reconciliation.
I agree it would be hard to rebuild a solid relationship without honesty.
It's also okay if PAs are a dealbreaker for you. Several on these forums wouldn't reconcile after a PA.
