I'm not really consumed with resentment, nor do I see forgiveness blocking my ability to effectively coparent the kids and do my part to shield them from any conflict.
Mostly I'm consumed these days with other things. I have plenty to focus on in my life. I'm changing jobs in a few months (transition to a new role). I have 3 kids to take care of part-time. I'm moving in a few weeks. And I'm trying to plan out my finances now that there is a path out from the absolutely ridiculous spending vortex. I'm trying to be a better dad. Some family is visiting next month and it's been fun planning out adventures for the kids and their cousins.
I don't know, forgiveness is just not something I think about these days. I don't think it's really blocking me from some any sort of progress. And if I did, it's a little fresh 3 days after hearing what was fair is if she took the kids 1000 miles away and started a life without me. I've learned (with meditation and the like) that anger and acceptance can kind of balance out and co-exist, no need to try to completely resolve any of those feelings now.
Regarding villains -- I like the concept of the hero-villain-victim triangle and how people tend to use that framework to perpetuate unhealthy relationship dynamics. My X is not the villain, it just is what it is, we'll move on and adjust to our new lives. I'll never forget what happened, maybe I'll forgive (IDK, not really something on my mind) and that is that.
