Many here have reconciled. Forgiveness is a choice, right? XW, XGF, XH, XBF come back and you've both made enough changes to make Relationship 2.0 more likely to succeed. You can either hold onto your pain, your anger, your desire to make them pay for the past--or you can let it go so you two can figure out if you can be happy together. It's not easy. The process often takes months if not longer.
The first time I wanted nothing more than to reconcile. I wouldn't entertain anybody telling me it was over and to split. I put all my energy into saving our marriage. This time seems different. I'm 10 years older and asking myself if I want to do this again further down the line. She lied at therapy, so if we had therapy again why would that be any different? I suppose she has told me she has been unfaithful this time.
Forgiveness is a decision. I'm not sure if I could forgive an affair as I've never knowingly been in the position to. But can I forgive somebody telling lies rather than the truth. Will I ever get the truth from her, even in therapy? If she can't ever do that - tell the truth in order to rebuild - then there can be nothing to rebuild as it would be build back on a lie, or a heap of lies.
Last edited by smilie; 06/22/2103:47 PM.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
