Been there, done that. When my long-term XGF left, the first shock was her leaving, the second shock was discovering that in contrast to her words she'd planned this enough to change her D's school district before moving out. The second shock was the realization was there was no easy way out, no shortcut home.
"No hope" is a thinking error. She doesn't plan to return to you. That doesn't mean she won't change her mind. As others have pointed out before, at one point she was completely uninterested in you, then she wanted to marry you, then she wanted out. She's changed her mind before. It could happen again in time.
No wonder a normal person can't follow. So basically what I am reading is, that these decisions are based solely on emotions and how she feels at any point in time?
Originally Posted by CWarrior
As a reference point, my long-term XGF and I reconciled.
Nice! Has it been a struggle? I know our was for the first year or so the first time. I was always treading on eggshells. It took me 5 years to trust her again. Then I got ill so I suppose I was a bit complacent for a long time focusing on feeling rough and being unable to work.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
