What I notice a lot (happened with some very close friends of my W's and mine years ago) is that the WAS uses the hard times as an excuse for stepping outside of the marriage. It isn't that the affair happened because of job situations or illness, but those things are used as an excuse for the affair after the fact. Your WAW is saying that isn't the case, and that she doesn't know why. So at least she isn't falling into that trap. But out of everything she is saying, she doesn't know why is probably the closest thing to the truth you will get from her right now! Waywards often do not know why they are doing what they are doing, they do it because it is what their feeligns are driving them to do.
She did fall into that trap last time though and it wouldn't surprise me if she is telling everybody else that this is what it is, and telling me a different story. My last girlfriend did this making her family believe that I was some bully-boy boyfriend who threatened to beat her up. She was a true psycho and it was her that was violent, not I. Why do {some} women need to make others believe a lie about somebody else?
I get that they don't know and ride on their feelings, but where is their conscience in all of this? Why are they prepared to discard their marriage and relationship without a second thought or without thought of consequences? The W is prepared to throw me under the bus, make me financially destitute and prepared for me to be homeless. I can't get my head around that as I would never be able to do that to anybody, especially when there has been no violence or threat in the relationship.
Sorry, there seems to be a lot of why's coming out of my fingertips! :-)
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
