Blu, thanks for sharing your update and thoughts. If I’m hearing you correctly, the forum is at its most inclusive and when it’s encouraging posters to slow down, identify their own personal flaws and limits, and set matching boundaries and improvement plans. It’s at its most divisive when we argue what limits and changes posters should set/make.
Those who reconcile tend to take neither a hard-line nor a doormat approach. They find more patience than they thought they had, but make the limits clear to themselves and their partner.
I am grateful to this forum for helping me get a 2nd and 3rd chance—even if I ultimately walked away. I find the tools helpful in day-to-day life with my children and while dating.
