[SteveLW]

Steve,

You keep accusing us all of making assumptions. We can only know what you tell us. It would be a pretty useless forum if every response to the LBS was "oh, tell me more since I don't want to assume". And you also have a tendency to hyper focus on the 10% the responder got wrong without acknowledging the 90% they got right.

For instance, it is impossible for you tell us anything about this OW that would erase the fact that you went from rushing out to buy your cheating wife flowers, a card, dinner, and wine on Vday, and then to less than 4 months later you have a GF. When we point out the impossibility of you being ready for a new R that quickly, you start hitting us with "because of faith" (huh??) and not wanting to be bound by XXXX statistics. Again, you gloss over the huge beam in your eye to try to pick slivers out of ours due to what you call "assumptions".

Nothing I can assume changes your actions on Vday nor the mere 14 weeks later having a GF!!

You keep making the point of "well I moved the D forward", but I'm pretty sure you were already talking to this OW before you did, or if at minimum of you're honest you'll admit you at least knew about her before you did.

Just like your lack of trying to really DB, you are doing what you want and trying to justify it after the fact. How many times did you send an update where you broke every tenet of DBing, and then tried to justify why it was okay to do what you were doing despite the chorus of responses telling you otherwise!!

So this girl might be the second coming. It doesn't change the fact that it is too soon. Too soon for you. Too soon for her. Too soon for your kids. Too soon all around.

In my 30s I met several women that would have been amazing matches for me. But the timing was wrong because I had already met and married my W. Using your logic, why should I miss out on something great just because I met them after I was married?!

I'll apologize in advance if this response is full of assumptions.