[Steve_]

More extremes… it’s like the sith, dealing in absolutes here…

Her saying “my goals are a family and a marriage” and talking about family and marriage so that we both understand that is the ultimate goal we both have (assuming things work out) is not “already planning a family”

I communicate everything with her. It was important for me to know her relationship goals, what she is looking for, and to understand what is going on. I told her that would be years from now. Like “hey, not gonna happen for a long time”

If you call that convo “already planning a family” c’mon man… I call it healthy communication as adults about what your relationship goals are, not playing games and then coming out with it 6-8 months later after all this attachment has been made. And yeah I sometimes wonder why she is willing to work with the crazy EW and the strange sitch, I have asked her this straight up, her answer was pretty much “yeah I know I’m 31 you are 36, I know you have kids and I don’t, but I have not met a man who is able to talk to me, he straight up with me, and who has such a record of being a good father and took his commitment seriously, who is strong in his faith”. That was essentially her answer. She’s had 2 LTR’s first one didn’t wanna commit after 6 years to an M and the second wanted to propose and buy a home at 1 year. Too fast for her. But you are totally allowed to use your extremes here, I get it. I’m keeping my eyes open, waiting for the big reveal of something wrong..until then I’m just taking it easy.

I’m not looking to get married anytime soon, not looking to move closer or have her come here any time soon. She is 5 hours away. I like that for awhile. I get to dictate how much time I invest and ensure it’s not too much. Still work on myself and have my privacy with my kids. This is why I’m okay with her. I would not be doing this if she lived in this city I do and I wouldn’t be doing this if my family did not know her so well as a well rounded woman.