[MrBrside]

Thanks for answering, and fair enough. If she isn’t the type of person you want around your kids, she absolutely shouldn’t be introduced.

To me its about getting the right person. 2 weeks, 2 months or even 6 months does not reflect most people's true personalitys.

It was probably LH ( sounds like the kind of thing he would post ) that said "for every red flag, 6 are hidden.. lol

I had a date last weekend with a lady who was with a man for 9 months after her seperation. ( husband cheater )

Two regrets she had..

1 - she met the 9 month guy too soon after the ex husband walked out - like a month later. She admits her head wasnt in the right place.
2 - introduced kids after 4 months..

7 months in and she has concerns over anger and agression ( the way he spoke to people when ordering food when they went for a meal etc ) , which had been masked for 7 months.
9 months and he was abusive ( verbally ) to her..

He had children and she had children.. Her children were upset becuase they lost their new friends.

I think i my initial thread, i mentioned my WW introduced OM to the children 3 days after leaving.. 2 weeks later and they found him in her bed - my middle and eldest daughter were so upset. Ive seen first hand how this stuff goes.

its also the long term impact... Ironically my WW's earliest childhood memory is mum and dad arguing when he left ( cheated on her mum) .. My WW was about 3 at the time

She spent a month sleeping in bed with her mum.. both just a mess and upset.. Until 1 day the paperboy ( he was an old paperboy as he didnt have a job ) came to deliver the paper and WWs mum and paperboy hit it off.. from that point, she was not allowed into her mums bed any longer becuase paperboy was there.. True story, but one of my WW's earliest memories and it caused a lot of resentment.

Point being - 35 years later and she used to always reflect on these memories - and it went full circle with her and my children.

But I’ve been encountering men who when there kids are present, the rest of the world does not exist.

Depends on the context i suppose. I have my children just shy of 50% of the time. In that time, its our time. Again, my children have been WW just ignore them / snuggle up with OM and told them to go outside, speak on the phone to OM for 30 minutes etc and they vent on these things.

Hence, i listen - and be the best Dad i can.

With the 7 month lady, she got to see me whenever i did not have the children. If and when i do introduce somebody to the children, that person would be in "our time"..

I am also very up front with dates.. ie i wont text you when i have my children and i wont introduce you for a long time. They know where they stand.