[MrBrside]

I am going to hijack for a quick second here

MrBrside, I have always mentally high fived all of your advice. But I would like to know if I could pick your brain a bit for personal reasons. Did you ever have any intention of including this woman fully in your life? After 7 months did you think it was fair to her just to be someone in the shadows and to be your girlfriend only when it was convenient for you? How do you think it made her feel after 7 months she had to
Totally vanish from you in any way while your kids were around ? I understand being a rock for your kids, but should a woman after 7 months only be important when no one else is present ? She’s. Human too. She invested in you too. It’s natural to date for that long and want to get to know and be involved with the most important parts of their lives . And not to be someone in the shadows. I understand if you felt like she was never going to be the one. But do you think anyone is ever going to be the one to be a little more involved in your kids lives or even in your life while your kids are around ?

Do you think this is a healthy relationship to have with another woman ? Is it fair and healthy to her ?

Fair point, but one i can easily answer.

When i believe ( and i know that introducing children and other factors can change this ) that this is a "for life" or long term partner.

I wouldnt have spent 7 months of my life if i didnt see her that way, but you dont know somebody after 7 months

Theres a lot of stuff out there about how you don't see the real person for at least 9 months - sometimes upto 2 years..

Well after 7 months in this situation, i was starting to see things that didnt align with my values, such as parking is disabled spaces ( i asked her to move the car and she laughed and said theres another disabled space ) , mentioing that she would drive under the influence, as long as she felt fit to drive etc. Trying to get me to change the way i dress because i dress fine for my town, but im not "trendy" enough for where she lives ( she lived 15 miles away in a very fasionable / city lifestyle place ).

These little things are / were not immediately visable ( especially as we have been in lockdown for most of 2021 ) , but are a game changer for me.. She was not prepared to change, as she sees no issue with these things.. Hence i moved on and am happy - and happier knowing i didnt make a silly mistake of introducing my children to her.