[Steve_]

I understand and I don’t get upset, I put my situation here to keep myself grounded. To hear the 2x4’s. Once I got infatuated and looked past every single red flag.. for 10 years. I was so conditioned to be disrespected and manipulated I didn’t even know better. I don’t want that ever again. Nobody but god determines my value as a man. Not my marriage my friends or my income. I don’t regret for one minute the effort I put into my M and the lengths I went to trying to save it. I only regret that I allowed myself to feel so poorly of myself for so long over a girl.

I absolutely get that things seem to good to be true and usually they are. I get it, end of the day I’m a combat vet and a psych nurse. I get reality. Especially after what happened with my M and how bad I got. This girl I have now in my life is free to leave anytime, I’ve told her this. I do not need her, I am good on my own now, and I like it that way for now. But she adds a little bit of goodness to my life. A friend, a partner to do things with, someone to lean on and also to be there for, and someone I look up to as far as our faith Goes. She is a beautiful girl too but I knew I liked her before I ever saw a photo. Her personality and who she is on the inside is why. Hopefully she doesn’t blow it. But if she does there is 11 billion people in this world (roughly) more than half are women. I’ll be alright.

Heading to the gym, thanks for all the feedback.
I strive to shoot for what makes me happy but looking reality in the eyes too. That’s what I’m focused on right now.